Yoga philosophy teaches us that most karma is created at the end of a cycle. In a relationship, the beginning part of getting to know someone and falling in love is pretty easy, exciting and natural. You are on good behavior. The middle part is pretty smooth; you are comfortable, you nest, there is a rhythm. Ending a cycle is a whole other ballgame. We are not good at endings. I once heard a Guru say this is exactly why there are so many Shiva temples in India. Shiva represents ending, dissolution, the end of a cycle and the time when we create the most karma.
The way we end one cycle is the way we begin another. Ever since I understood this teaching, I have become very conscious about the way I end things. When we know something is ending, we tend to make the situation or the person wrong; that’s all we can see. It makes sense because why would you leave, if things are good?
This is what we are doing in my house. I have 18-year-old twins that are starting college this August. Talk about the end of a cycle! Needless to say, it is tumultuous at my house as this 18- year cycle is coming to an end.
The path of least resistance is to make each other wrong in order to make the transition seemingly easier. The harder path is not to take any of this on and to move through this time with consciousness and compassion. I understand that there is fear on their part – around leaving the nest and cutting the umbilical cord. There is also fear on my part of having 2 of my 3 kids go off to college simultaneously and having a lot of space. (As a matter of fact, the reason I chose to have a third child after having twins was in anticipation of this day- when my twins would leave for college on the same day and I would be an empty nester!)
My commitment is to move through this transition with as much grace, integrity and kindness as possible; and I can tell it is going to take great effort to stay grounded in love and not get caught in the whirlwind, while all boundaries crumble.
Fortunately, the universe is forgiving and offers us infinite opportunities to do it differently. Our patterns and tendencies continue to repeat and reveal themselves, not so we beat ourselves up, but so we can see them clearer, make different choices and break the patterns that bind us.
In the meantime, my calendar is filling up with events in anticipation of having more time on my hands. I, too, am moving into a new space and am looking forward to what it brings as I step more fully into myself and my independence and watch one cycle end as a new one so naturally emerges.