My partner has expressed interest in establishing a yoga practice, but her deepest yearnings are around our partnership. My deepest yearnings are all connected to my yoga practice. Can this marriage be saved?
For the past three years I had my dream job–running a yoga studio. The economy in my location forced me out of business, and I have moved back to the big city. I am putting a child through college and another one heading to college in a few years, so the move was necessary. No regrets, but maybe I am still mourning the loss and trying to figure out how to integrate my overwhelming love and devotion to yoga with my new and now more regular life?
My partnership started while I was still running the business. We had been friends for over 24 years before falling in love, it is quite the dramatic love story.
I deeply love my partner, but I love yoga just as much. I feel as though I am living a weird double life secretly looking for yoga TTs and retreats while she is planning our weekends together.
You are feeling guilty for no reason. Yoga teaches us to love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we have much more room in our hearts for others. We become better parents, children and partners. We have more to offer, we don’t get burned out. The well is infinite. Let your partner know how yoga changes you from the inside out and how important it is to you. How you do not react negatively as quickly, how you are more patient, more present, more conscious and happier. Let her know you would love to share your yoga with her yet keep in mind it is so personal as well. Yoga is a relationship like any other but it is a relationship with yourself. You get to know yourself more fully, your tendencies, you work hard to stay centered and grounded. But if you don’t ultimately offer it back, it becomes self indulgence. We practice yoga on the mat so we can live it off the mat. Find balance. Practice with your partner whether you do asana together or not. It sounds like you have a good thing. See the good that is in front of you. Be happy, you deserve it.